Breaking The Cycle
Trauma Bonding
It is hard to understand why victims of abuse make excuses for their abusers for so long, and even “desire” to stay around the behavior. Let me introduce you to trauma bonding. “Traumatic bonding occurs as the result of ongoing cycles of...
Intimacy After Abuse
Intimacy can be a cringeworthy word (and thought) to those of us who have been abused, and really don’t understand what that is truly supposed to look like. We often feel like we don’t deserve it because we are told things that cause us to believe...
Psalms 40 (NASB)
God Sustains His Servant. For the choir director. A Psalm of David. 40 I waited [a]patiently for the Lord; And He inclined to me and heard my cry. 2 He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the [b]miry clay, And He set my feet upon a rock making...
It’s All About Control
Control is the driving force behind our bondage. Not just becoming imprisoned, but staying there, and struggling to ever get out. When an abuser enters our lives, their goal is to control us. How we think, how we act, and everything in between. Then, when we...
Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive dissonance – “A mental conflict occurs when beliefs are contradicted by new information. This conflict activates areas of the brain involved in personal identity and emotional response to threats. The brain’s alarms go off when a...
Abuse is a Weapon
Abuse is a weapon. But beyond that, it is the weaponizing of everything that is good, safe, happy, and healthy. It is a manipulator, a twister of truth, and it parades around like it belongs where it doesn’t. This is what makes abuse tricky to notice,...
Habakkuk 1 (NASB)
Chaldeans Used to Punish Judah 1 The [a]oracle which Habakkuk the prophet saw. 2 How long, O Lord, will I call for help, And You will not hear? I cry out to You, “Violence!” Yet You do not save. 3 Why do You make me see iniquity, And cause me to look on...
How Do We Bridge the Gap of Abuse as a Church?
It’s difficult trying to come out of abuse without getting wounded and scarred deeper. Abuse, in all of its many forms, aren’t topics that are comfortable. But, beyond that, abuse isn’t clear cut, it isn’t always easy to decipher, and...
Abuse Amnesia
There are a few reasons that abuse victims don’t “just leave” or end up returning after they have left. Abuse amnesia is one of these reasons. It’s when our empathetic brains remember the “good times” in place of anything...
How Can We Tell the Difference Between Good and Bad People?
If we could tell the difference between good and bad people, we might have saved ourselves a whole lot of pain and trouble. Those who walk on the dark side are often masked as wonderful people because they are master manipulators. They are expert hunters...
