What is Gaslighting?
“The term ‘gaslighting’ comes from a 1938 stage play called Gaslight, in which a husband attempts to drive his wife crazy by dimming the lights in their home (which were powered by gas), then denies that the lights change when the wife asks him about them.” – davidwolfe.com.
I sensed that I had lost touch with reality somehow. I didn’t understand how I had changed so much over just a decade. I felt like I didn’t know what was actually real, and that I couldn’t trust my memory. In spats with my abuser, I would occasionally let him know that he was emotionally abusive. I had no idea how to prove it or back myself up. He would just laugh in my face. After being apart from him for a few months, 10 Signs You Are a Victim of Gaslighting popped onto my Facebook feed. I had never heard the term before, and I can’t remember what even led me to open the article and read it. I’m guessing the headline caught my attention somehow. As I read it, I couldn’t believe it! This described what I was trying to understand and prove for so many years. This validated that I, in fact, was not crazy at all! I wanted to laugh and cry all at once.
Gaslighting is referred to as the “crazy maker”. It is often gradual and subtle, so it is so easy to miss. You thought you knew things a certain way, but your abuser retells you the story the way you don’t quite remember it, and in a very convincing way. You go along with it over and over again, until you are so far from reality, you question the color of the sky and everything else you once knew. You are not crazy, your reality has been rewritten by someone else. Read the links below by other authors that helped me grasp the definition and severity of gaslighting, it will open your eyes if you (or someone close to you) are a victim of it.