- An unconscious self-defence mechanism characterised by a person unconsciously attributing their own issues onto someone or something else as a form of delusion and denial.
- A way to blame others for your own negative thoughts by repressing them and then attributing them to someone else. Due to the sorrowful nature of delusion and denial it is very difficult for the target to be able to clarify the reality of the situation.
- A way to transfer guilt for your own thoughts, emotions and actions onto another as a way of not admitting your guilt to yourself.
Projection, simply put, is the art of not only denying our own behaviors, shortcomings, and even thoughts, but pushing them on to others. This is done when we consciously or subconsciously don’t want to acknowledge where we are as a person, especially when it’s not where we want to be or how we want to be seen.
We are all guilty of some form of projection, just like manipulation. When we are trying to save face, projection can often help us get out of those situations we don’t want to be in when we are asked to explain ourselves or we are confronted with the ugly things. Of course, not all of us do this all the time. We will always have the choice to not only tell the truth, but to see the truth, and seeing the truth about ourselves is sometimes the hardest thing we could do.
Being human makes us naturally self-centered, and no matter how much we might loathe ourselves at times, we will always love ourselves best. It is something we have to wake up and fight against everyday. This is exactly why we are instructed to lay down our lives and pick up our cross on a daily basis (Matthew 16:24-26). It has to be a choice that we constantly make.
Projection is one step further than being defensive, and is often used in correlation with our defensiveness as a tool. Defending our children is one way we may find ourselves projecting. Many have a hard time believing that their children could or would do anything wrong, especially when they are caught off guard by accusations, and even the facts. We always have to remember that all of us are capable of doing wrong, even beyond what we ever imagined we could do, and that includes our children. We do need to come to the aid of ourselves and others in cases of false accusations, but it is never done right when projection is used. Projection is a tactic that is filled with lies, and happens when we choose not to reflect on our own lives. Matthew 7:1-6 speaks to this point.
There are those of the world, and most of us have come in contact with more than one, who refuse to not only lay down their lives, but they live in an alternate reality where they are “never” wrong. These are the people who choose projection as a normal way of life. Of course, most of them go by the labels of pathological liar, narcissist, sociopath, psychopath, etc. Projection is just another tool in their tool belt to keep their name clean to the outside world, and to keep you trapped, manipulated, and controlled inside their world. Even when they have no remorse for doing wrong (sometimes not even admitting wrong for what it truly is), they will still deny it, turning on you, and accusing you of it, because they know how others will see them if they admit to it.
You could have all of the clear proof of their misdeed(s), and they may know it, and they will still try their hand at denying and turning it around. They are masterful, and it’s a lot of work to keep on top of the truth, and not going insane. They don’t live by the moral code they hold everyone else to, let alone by Biblical standards. But, they are oftentimes smart enough to know what is expected of them to achieve a position of power, praise, and admiration. The goal here isn’t relationships, it’s to be adored and worshipped. They are gaining a following, a cult when they can.
Think about some of the famous cult leaders. They often got away with enforcing rules that they themselves wouldn’t follow because they were “above them”. They were the gods in their minds, but would lead their followers to often believe that they are either serving a higher power together, or they themselves were sent or a higher power themselves.
Beware of the questioning because when you start to let them know that you see flaws in them, they will throw everything they got at you. It won’t always be the exact thing that you are accusing or calling on them. Sometimes, they take the opportunity to be creative by cutting you down where they know you feel shame, guilt, and insecurity. They know it will get the questions to stop, it will give them the power back. It causes us to think, “You’re right, I am no better than that, so I have no room to talk”. Or it could also cause us to feel so beat down, that it’s not worth it to us. It causes more pain and confusion, that it becomes unbearable, and we leave it alone. That was their goal. They want to do what they want, and projection is often the perfect tool to help them achieve that.
Projecting is just another part of the crazy-making, gaslighting campaign. To put it another way, it’s just another manipulative excuse to dodge responsibility for one’s own actions because they refuse to lose control and anything else that has been gained along the way. People who choose projection are not walking in love. It is a way to excuse, cover up, and deny sin. The tool itself is sinful, and to cover up any other sin, it couldn’t be anything else.
- Gaslighting – What You Need to Know About This Psychological and Emotional Abuse
- The Three Stages of Abuse
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